My life in....

So I live in Anchorage Alaska now and the big question is....do I change the title of this blog to My Life in Anchorage Alaska???

Family life, precious babies and new beginings

I can't believe I haven't written since October. A lot has happened since then so let me tell you about it!

Last time I wrote I said I was heading home for Christmas and that my sister, Abbey was pregnant with her first child. Well on December 13th I arrived in Atlanta and that evening around 5pm Liliana Elizabeth joined our family. She is perfect in more ways then one and I miss her so much! I was beyond honored that my sister allowed me to stay for the birth and then spend the next 3 weeks spoiling this sweet little girl. I am hoping to go home in May to see her, I can't wait to see how big she has gotten!!















Liliana and I, she is two days old in this picture!

It was also great to spend time with my brothers and brother in law. I forgot how crazy my brothers are and it was so much fun to be apart of the family again. I miss them while up here but I know that being here is whats best for me.














The person I miss the most though is my mom. I really enjoyed getting the chance to spend so much time with her while I was home. I think it has made the distance even harder and with both of us having busy schedules I don't get to talk with her as often as I would like. There is a chance that when I go back to Georgia I will be taking a training for work in Nashville, TN. If I do that then my mom plans to come up and spend the week with me! I really hope that happens because it would be nice to spend a whole week just her and I.

So now I'm back in Alaska and moving on to a new chapter of my life. It is March and at the end of this month my lease ends. Mark and Christa will be moving to Anchorage Alaska and out of the house we have shared together for a year. After much discussion with my landlord Kate and Lindsey will be moving in with me and I simply can't wait! I'm excited for the new beginnings this chapter of my life will bring and I'm also excited to see where it will take me. Signing another year lease guarantees I will be in Haines for at least one more year but after that who knows? Maybe I will move on to explore more of the world.

Alright I think I will end this blog since it's getting kind of long. I will try to write more often and keep ya'll updated on my life.

Coming through the storm

Just a short update!

I bought my ticket home to Georgia!! WOOT! I will be back December 13th - 30th. I leave Haines on the 12th and don't get back to Haines until the 1st of January. The good note is that I'm spending New Years Eve in Juneau with Kate and Lindsey!! I can't wait to be back without a week of class and everything. It will be nice to just be with my family. I know this sounds crazy but I just keep thinking about a Christmas tree in my mom's living room, stockings hanging from the fire place and game nights with the family. I'm so excited!!! :)

I had a euthanasia every day for 3 days straight last week. Wow, that was HARD! I can handle one at a time and come out ok but 3 was tough. It took a lot of mistakes, heart aches and some good crying sessions but I'm doing much better today.

All the dogs are good. Mike is in town so I don't have Snoopy, sad but also nice to have my bathroom back! Mark and Christa are in Vegas so I have the place to myself (WOOT!!). Although I miss them dearly I'm excited to have my house to myself for a little bit.

I think I'm going to end this note with a quote (who would guess right?)

"Society teaches us that, having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just as Charlie Brown."

:)

These are a few of my favorite things:

A cuddly Nova
Being miles away from everyone
Fall in Alaska
Walking through the forest
A silly Sitka
A kind deed done to a stranger
Crawling into a clean bed
Silence
Getting out of the shower, feeling clean and putting on just washed clothes
Camping
The stars
Seeing wildlife in there own environment
Rescuing something that needs it
Making someone days better
A long drive down the highway
A clean house
An afternoon nap
Lounging in the sunshine
Standing on the deck of the ferry
A vigilant Konnor
Music
A good love story
Nova trying to "tell" me she "needs" something (she is doing it as I type this....a roo, roo, roo)
One of my dogs learning a new trick
Talking with my family
A cup of hot chocolate
Being able to help a friend
Reading a new, good book
Going on adventures :)
Learning something new
A busy day at work

Freedom

I opened a book Sarah has had on the desk for a few weeks now called "Meditations for women who do too much" by Anne Wilson Schaef. I quickly realized you are supposed to read one a day as they are dated. So I flipped to today's date and read exactly what I needed to read today...

Sisterhood, like female friendship, has at its core the affirmation of freedom. - Mary Dayl

For women to truly be friends, we have to shed the suspicious competitiveness toward one another that we have been trained into. We have to move beyond seeing other women as competitors for the "goodies". We have to be open to the possibility that because we are women we have mutual concerns and experiences that we need to share. To do this, we have to be willing to move beyond our training and education for separateness, to leap the chasm and become free to be ourselves with one another.

Once we have made the leap, we find richness and depth in our female friendships that simply is not possible with men. We find ourselves saying again and again, "I know," "I know,". It is in the "affirming our freedom" from old brainwashing that we move into friendship and sisterhood.

THOUGH I HAVE been told otherwise, I need friends who are women.


Hmmm, I seem to like quotes lately so here is one more before I depart... "If ever I had a good mind, it has been lost in the shuffle. I seem to have stagnated, and I am aware that I am not using any capacity I have to the fullest." - Anyonymous -

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.

Hungry not only for bread - but hungry for love.
Naked not only for clothing - but naked for human dignity and respect.
Homeless not only for want of a room of bricks - but homeless because of rejection.
- Mother Teresa

There is something to be said about those people in your life who love you no matter what. No matter what you say, no matter what you do, no matter who you are they just love you and accept you. Sometimes I feel I "force" a relationship (friendship etc.) with someone and not because I feel a strong connection to them but sometimes just because there is a past, a history that connects us. However now, in the present I feel as if I'm being judged and have not risen to the impossible standards they have placed upon me. I try my best in my daily life to live a good life, to be a good friend, sister, daughter and I feel that at most times I succeed in doing so. Sometimes I fall short, but I think we all do and I try not to dwell on the instances where I have done so. Sometimes though I feel that I am a pawn in someones game and they constantly knock me down to make themselves feel better.

Then....

Then there are certain people I hold in my heart, some are thousands of miles away, some are a few houses away and some even have four legs ( :) ). These people build me up to make me the best possible person I can be. They strive along with me to help me succeed my life goals. They offer words of wisdom, praise, criticism and they celebrate along side me. They are the people I run to when my heart has shattered, tears streaming down my face for there comfort and support. These are the people that make me who I am today, these are the people that hold me together, keep me going but most of all these are the people that love and support me no matter what. Without these people I would be truly lost.

A few things people have either made me feel or said to me recently that I want to clear up:
- I am not stupid.
- My heart does sometimes break as a euthanasia tech, but I see this as a strength NOT a weakness
- My job is not always the kind of job that you leave behind at the end of the day, some days it's hard and some days it wears me down to the point where I have nothing left to give to anyone
- Sometimes I just need to talk about things going on in my life, please listen. I try to listen when you talk to me about whats going on in your life. Please don't turn it around to be about you, again.

Thanks for reading, this post has made it so that I can go to bed without a heavy heart weighing me down. One final quote from Mother Teresa before I crawl into bed:

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

T'aime